This is a loss I will accept goodbye to fat without regret turns-out all is not okay, as I heard a voice in the distance say, "hey you!, yah you, where's our wiggle, we don't bounce, sag, or jiggle!" "Who's that" I asked completely shocked, "down here", it said, "can you hear me talk?, I do much better when I strut, nice to meet you, I'm your butt" "WHAT!" I screamed "Butt's don't talk", "oh sure" it said, "I don't just walk! Where's our fat, it keeps us warm, we were big and shaggy and in top-form," "Um, excuse-me please", I blurted out, "our fat had to go, so don't freak-out!, I was getting tired, really worn-out, so now I eat healthy and work-out, No offense, but less of you looks better, I don't have to cover you up with my sweater, Wiggling to the world in these tight jeans is what my fat loss really means" "you're pretty shallow", stated my butt, I said, "dude, just do what you do best Let's strut!" JCMT©

Application Hell

Do you know how many jobs are out there? Apparently, the super abundance is so overwhelming, it will make me cry with gratitude. The choices are spectacular! Employers en masse, like a parade of dancing cash. Sixteen hours of resume revamping, twenty two hours of cover letter re-design, and days of emailing to those who aredying to hire me. Oh yes. I warned my neighbours of the coming onslaught. Checked the local bylaws to ensure the parade of opportunity conformed. Adorned my body in pinstripes. The hair. You should see the hair: Arched at the edges it screams Management Material! Oh yes. All is good. Six months have passed. Do you know how many jobs are NOT out there? Apparently, the drought is so overwhelming, I had to stop crying. I couldn't afford the tissues. The choices for car washing, flipping burgers and pouring coffee, spectacular. I'm not educated to wash, flip, and pour; I really should have planned better. Employers must be IN Mass. And cash doesn't dance. Credit cards do. Sixteen hours of resume revamping, Twenty hours of cover letter re-design and months of emailing. gave me one thing I didn't have, cramps. Oh yes, the bylaws need revamping... employer onslaughts, went with the wind. About my hair. It's a lovely shade of in-shock grey. Pinstripes? Let's not go there. So what have I done for me lately, I whipped out the good china to havea coffee, Didn't have time to use it before. Unemployed class, all is good. JCMT©

Do you know how many jobs are out there? Apparently, the super abundance is so overwhelming, it will make me cry with gratitude. The choices are spectacular! Employers en masse, like a parade of dancing cash. Sixteen hours of resume revamping, twenty two hours of cover letter re-design, and days of emailing to those who aredying to hire me. Oh yes. I warned my neighbours of the coming onslaught. Checked the local bylaws to ensure the parade of opportunity conformed. Adorned my body in pinstripes. The hair. You should see the hair: Arched at the edges it screams Management Material! Oh yes. All is good. Six months have passed. Do you know how many jobs are NOT out there? Apparently, the drought is so overwhelming, I had to stop crying. I couldn't afford the tissues. The choices for car washing, flipping burgers and pouring coffee, spectacular. I'm not educated to wash, flip, and pour; I really should have planned better. Employers must be IN Mass. And cash doesn't dance. Credit cards do. Sixteen hours of resume revamping, Twenty hours of cover letter re-design and months of emailing. gave me one thing I didn't have, cramps. Oh yes, the bylaws need revamping... employer onslaughts, went with the wind. About my hair. It's a lovely shade of in-shock grey. Pinstripes? Let's not go there. So what have I done for me lately, I whipped out the good china to havea coffee, Didn't have time to use it before. Unemployed class, all is good. JCMT©

Michael Owen issues 'come and get me plea'

Express.co.uk - Home of the Daily and Sunday Express | Sport | Football | Michael Owen issues 'come and get me plea'

JCMT

ANTHEM OF FRUSTRATION

You've rung the Continental offices of No-one's Ever Here;
Please leave your name and number and then kindly disappear,
For our laws' writ rules king and twit in east, west, south and northward,
and fosters strife in modern life;

Nothing is straight forward.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
No doubt you know our other show, called Nothing Ever Fits,
who in their turn, as all soon learn, sell incomplete spares kits,
That lack the one important part to re-start car or tractor,
And at which stage, cause further rage, when we insert this factor;
That all shall be discovered only once the shops have closed,
So nothing ever, ever, ends as cheaply as supposed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
An allied gang that makes a bang is
Not At This Address,
Who trades as 'We've moved Premises', but where and when's a guess;
For, though they've gone to Koinange Street, you're really none the wiser,
You think they're in Parliament road?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This mib will kill you; sound familiar?
They're Out At A Meeting.
Elusive, they're conducive to a lot of overheating.
They won't come back till you've jacked up, and on your homeward trip;
As you leave town, they getbeamed diwn, in pairs, from mother ship.
Our Never Any Dunnies Group works on privat fears,
So by the time you've read this,
stuff is pouring out your ears.


JCMT ©

Reds agree Borini fee

Express.co.uk - Home of the Daily and Sunday Express | Sport | Football | Reds agree Borini fee

JCMT

CNN gets it wrong; we're all the worse for it

Philadelphia Public Relations Agency | Gregarious | The Gregory FCA blog: CNN gets it wrong; we're all the worse for it: BLUNDER: CNN stands corrected How could one of the world's most important news sources get it wrong? This morning, no doubt many America...

JCMT