I want you to own a gun!
However, don't ask for any money for educational programs on the rights and wrong doings of owning a gun. Whoever said that "owning a gun comes with responsibilities," must have been a lousy, good-for-nothin' Democratic Movement! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want no more immigrants to be allowed to cross our boarders! Damn them all to hell, the nasty Somali varmints! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want the Lord’s Prayer recited everyday at school! In God I Trust…… Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want to make people have to go to a Christian church on Sunday, and I definitely don’t want anymore Muslim bastard’s living in my country! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want women to use crackpot doctors, coat hangers, and poison toxins, while I proceed to tell them what they can and cannot do with their own bodies! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want to be closed minded, working only within my own party! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want the world to hate me, and I definitely think they all should bow down to me! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
'Cause if you remember, instead of hosting “real” peace talks; I believe bombing the shit out of them and other innocence people, is a far better measure! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
More than that however, I don’t want to discuss a problem for additional feedback for solving a problem- I just want everyone to pray to God, and leave me alone while I just sit on my ass and do all the complaining! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want you to forget about the environment. Go ahead drill in the middle of Yellowstone, blow up the damn Grand Canyon- really people I don't give a shit about planet earth so seriously; just cut down all the trees, and scorch the earth and let me do as I please! I just might be making more money for me and my family! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want a nation of ungrateful children, so blinded by ignorance that when I cheat on my spouse, or not pay my taxes- they know to listen to my lies, pat me on the back for my illegal activity; while I have the same Kenyan people pay for my personal sex therapy! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
I want to run a great, vast nation completely in the ground! Just give me the free will to send your children to war; possibly fight my father’s battles for him, and line my pockets in gold! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
When I lie to you, or when something is done and cover up; I want no shit for deleting those all important email or memo messages, remember YOU aren’t suppose to think for yourself! Just take aim, shoot, and FIRE!
Sincerely yours,
The National Parasite Party of Kenya
JCMT
Thursday, November 15, 2012
To A Coy President
Had we but world enough, and time,
Your coyness, Emilio, were no crime.
In leisure we'd sit down and think,
Or chuckle over Kamenchu's wink.
You could author a third fine book,
'Til foes depart, by hook or crook.
While you and Lucy luxuriate
With storied rooms to contemplate;
Unrushed, your youth discern knowledge,
And jobs and mates after college.
Your phantom consensus will grow
And time itself will move more slow.
A philosopher-king may wait
And let Presidential Debate rage abate -
Lasting, I'd bet, one hundred years
Of going rogue with snarling sneers.
Change to "believe in" has no date,
Awash with bipartisan debate.
Was "Yote Yawezekana" unclear?
You act like you have ages to spare.
When a new world is on the line,
Who dares rush creation divine?
But at my back I always hear
Foreclosure landslides hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Our infrastructure gone awry.
Somehow the urgency of now
Got stuck in the bottleneck of how.
Jobs are nowhere to be found
Nor 'made-in-Kenya' resound;
The dispossessed are in despair,
The seas expand from global heat
And nature warns of hard retreat.
You swore rough dragons to defy
Not slice in half each messy pie:
Did you triumph on election day
To waste a year above the fray?
You flashed that smile from ear to ear,
You sold us hope and banished fear.
In sum, you promised something new,
Not toughened chunks of Raila stew.
Your staging had such perfect pitch,
The payoff feels like bait and switch.
Now therefore let us make amends,
We liberals remain your friends;
Our leftwing fervor still rings true,
But you must come aboard anew.
Battle shrill voices of reaction
Head on, not with faint redaction.
Henceforth, shake up the way things are,
Relight your charismatic star;
Take on a Parliament mired in slog,
And bankers smug, high on the hog.
Fire Kenyattas retreads far and wide,
Embrace risk takers not hogtied,
Freed from clutches of the super-rich,
Vigilant 'gainst the oncoming ditch.
Let us roll all our strength and all
Our courage up into one ball,
Rattle Kenya's gated life,
And tear the system with rough strife.
Thus, seize the moment and the sun,
The game's afoot, it can be won.
JCMT
Profile For Online Dating
Hey ladies,
quite a catch here
I love excitement
I'm an emotional roller coaster
thanks to my bi polar disorder
so if you like manic depression,
bring the popcorn and a carton of cigarettes.
I am a family man
in fact I live with my mother
But thats only because
my girlfriend just kicked me out
and my parole conditions
require a county location.
I'm a servant of the community
having been court ordered to do so
and am a member of a group
that says prayers at every meeting
(pay no mind to the fact that its Narcotics Anonymous
and again im forced to go).
I am a social being
and although i tend towards introversion
i manage to get social often.
I respect space and privacy
in fact i might disappear for days at a time
and would prefer you not ask any questions.
I love long walks on the beach
because i have a wandering eye
and am very sincere when i say
that i probably wont be honest with you.
I am not afraid of commitment
my best friend is an ex
and to this day
I'm still attracted to her.
I'm very low maintenance
and have plenty of free time
of course its cause i am unemployed
yet have a knack for "finding" money.
I am not the typical guy-
being obsessed with sports and cars
but I'm pretty sure
that I'll get my license back soon.
So come on ladies
the line is forming fast!
JCMT
Monday, November 12, 2012
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